For the past few weeks this issue has been boiling & festering inside my heart... my mind... my soul. I desperately want to write a poem on it. But I have no idea how to give it voice. I want it to hit hard and strike a nerve. But the idea isn't to offend but shed some light on the issue.
Basically I was at a Slam where a number of the female performers spoke to the issue of abuse. Sure the topic is uncomfortable to listen to, but I imagine enduring it is infinitely MORE uncomfortable. This issue (sorry Truth)... this problem does need a voice. And I commend the women who were brave enough to give it a voice.
However, I felt they were kind of "preaching to the choir" though. Most of the people there were women or (speaking for myself here) men who abhor such actions. Sure it's therapeutic to get things off one's chest. But how has the world changed? Have you inspired change? The speakers were full of passion and on the attack. No doubt hoping to reverse the role their abuser assumed over them while on stage. As one of the few males in the room I couldn't help but feel like they were placing the blame on me as well.
The fact that I internalized their words emotionally is the sign of a great poet. But one poem.... One poet hit me the hardest. She spoke of brother. A brother who wanted to protect her from the hurt in the world. A brother, who in his zeal to protect, became a source of fear. the night finished with a first time poet winning top honours. At the end of her 2nd piece she in effect sounded the call for answer.
Sadly, I don't know how to answer. I'm expected to be the solution while I carry the blame for the problem. It's true I will never truly understand how that cocktail of fear, pain, and hate feels. So how can you expect me to have the antidote?
So let my frustration be expressed in words. I am a Masculinist. I think men need to stand up for their rights. Not to take away what doesn't belong. Rather the right to do right instead of wrong. Not rights for the sake of claiming them. Not claiming them of the sake of nameing them.
Like our right to honour. Not to be honourED but to be honourING. To honour our women.
What are we to do? Our fathers were muted when hedonistic liberalism took centre stage. And now you wonder why rage is all the rage in our present age.
Instead of loud noisey words let me speak to you in the strong but subtleness of silent actions and this white ribbon on my sleeve for the rest of you.
2009-05-01
2009-03-31
Truth vs truth
Who owns the truth? So often I find people say things like "That might be true for you but it's not true for me?" I'm sorry but truth is truth no matter who percieves it. We can't all be right. Is your truth more true than mine? If my truth is killing you and yours is staying alive then whose truth is.... well.. true?
We can't ALL be right. I mean we all want to be right. But for some reason we try to make believe as if we can all be right, and it's all okay, and we all live happily after.
When the TRUTH is... most of us don't. So this new age hollywood ending that all paths lead to God/Goddess/Paradise/Heaven/or whatever is simply false. We're simply deluding ourselves in hopes to ignore the stalemate we found ourselves at before.
For years, decades, centuries, even millenia we've been at odds (okay war!) over who is right. If we want to be mature about it we must simply agree to disagree.
The problem is people's perceptions. We can't help but be biased by our own opinions and observations. So much so that we stop looking at what is REALLY happening and simply try to force it into our preconceived ideas of the world and fit them into that. Christianity, Islam, Athiests... we've all done it.
We then claim that the conclusions we've come to via our biased perception of the world are the truth. And when we all come together to discuss out conclusions we a re shocked & dismayed that other people don't have the same conclusions. So we play polite and say that it's your truth and this is my truth. And we can both have our own truth without having to totally denounces the others persons perceptions as false... well at least to their face.
Instead of looking at the world through your the lenses of bias perhaps you should take off you glasses and try an unfettered view. Instead of looking for a truth that fits what you believe why not simply decide to believe what is TRUTH.
Truth, REAL truth, is always true. It doens't need me or you to declare it so (or even denounce it as such). So let's NOT all hold hands and sing "Koom-Bye-Yah", let's NOT all agree, let's NOT all be friends. We don't need to get along perse. But come on, we don't need to go to war for it either.
We can't ALL be right. I mean we all want to be right. But for some reason we try to make believe as if we can all be right, and it's all okay, and we all live happily after.
When the TRUTH is... most of us don't. So this new age hollywood ending that all paths lead to God/Goddess/Paradise/Heaven/or whatever is simply false. We're simply deluding ourselves in hopes to ignore the stalemate we found ourselves at before.
For years, decades, centuries, even millenia we've been at odds (okay war!) over who is right. If we want to be mature about it we must simply agree to disagree.
The problem is people's perceptions. We can't help but be biased by our own opinions and observations. So much so that we stop looking at what is REALLY happening and simply try to force it into our preconceived ideas of the world and fit them into that. Christianity, Islam, Athiests... we've all done it.
We then claim that the conclusions we've come to via our biased perception of the world are the truth. And when we all come together to discuss out conclusions we a re shocked & dismayed that other people don't have the same conclusions. So we play polite and say that it's your truth and this is my truth. And we can both have our own truth without having to totally denounces the others persons perceptions as false... well at least to their face.
Instead of looking at the world through your the lenses of bias perhaps you should take off you glasses and try an unfettered view. Instead of looking for a truth that fits what you believe why not simply decide to believe what is TRUTH.
Truth, REAL truth, is always true. It doens't need me or you to declare it so (or even denounce it as such). So let's NOT all hold hands and sing "Koom-Bye-Yah", let's NOT all agree, let's NOT all be friends. We don't need to get along perse. But come on, we don't need to go to war for it either.
2009-03-09
No Pain, No Gain
So recently my wife & I joined a local gym. We're tired of being tired and recognized that we desperately need to shape up our shape. I've worked my way up to 3 times a week 45 mins per visit over 3 weeks. I've mostly just done the treadmill. We went in the pool a couple times to do laps. And once I did a recumbant bike. Mind you I only lasted 10 minutes on it because sitting on it was SOO awkward. It felt like I was going to slide off the seat so I was tense the whole time. Then I had to always keep track of my knees so i didn't bang them on the handles.
Things have been going well so far. I've noticed having a little more energy and my shirts don't feel QUITE so tight. But yesterday we finally did our fitness assessment. OUCH!!! The excercises weren't that bad. But today my chest is so sore from doing the pushups. I guess that's why I signed us up for 6 Personal Trainer Sessions (+2 more for free) because we... sorry... I need the help getting there.
Perhaps the craziest part of this whole deal is the fact that our first session is tonight. I'm sooo going to be hurting. So don't be surprised if I can't lift my arms to type and log into facebook, email, or blog for that matter.
"Feel The Burn !!!!"
Things have been going well so far. I've noticed having a little more energy and my shirts don't feel QUITE so tight. But yesterday we finally did our fitness assessment. OUCH!!! The excercises weren't that bad. But today my chest is so sore from doing the pushups. I guess that's why I signed us up for 6 Personal Trainer Sessions (+2 more for free) because we... sorry... I need the help getting there.
Perhaps the craziest part of this whole deal is the fact that our first session is tonight. I'm sooo going to be hurting. So don't be surprised if I can't lift my arms to type and log into facebook, email, or blog for that matter.
"Feel The Burn !!!!"
2009-02-26
My 1st Slam win !!!
So last night I went to the 3rd ever Semantix Guelph Poetry Slam! It's nice having a slam so close to home. It's a little unique from other slams I've been to in a few ways. First, there is no open mic. Normally there are a few slots for people not interested in competing or being scored for their creation and performance of it. Second, there is only 1 round. So there isn't a lot of strategizing. You have to come out the gate swinging if you want to win. Third, there are only 3 judges and all their scores count. So if someones friend is a judge that means you can get a higher score without actually earning it.
It's unique in a good way though. It's a quick & dirty, wham, bam, thank you ma'am way of doing it. There's no messing around it's just down to business! Not to mention that the venue itself is pretty dope.
Getting to win was a good feeling. I'd like to thank Livingston though. Originally I was planning to do another piece, but her comments on Facebook about the poem I performed at the Burlington Slam ("Punctuated Hate For The Man") made me decide to switch poems. Good thing too. All 3 judges gave me a 9.something. So I knew right away that I won. After Dave Silverberg's feature performance (I love the Egg Nog poem even more now) they called on stage to give me the prize... a medium pizza w/ 3 toppings for Toppers Pizza & a book of poetry by Saul Williams called "The Dead Emcee Scrolls". OH.. and Dave gave me a pack of Pop Rocks I'm eating right now!!
Since Guelph tapes all the performances I will be able to share the actual performance with you soon via YouTube. In the meantime you can find me on cloud nine!
Peace!
It's unique in a good way though. It's a quick & dirty, wham, bam, thank you ma'am way of doing it. There's no messing around it's just down to business! Not to mention that the venue itself is pretty dope.
Getting to win was a good feeling. I'd like to thank Livingston though. Originally I was planning to do another piece, but her comments on Facebook about the poem I performed at the Burlington Slam ("Punctuated Hate For The Man") made me decide to switch poems. Good thing too. All 3 judges gave me a 9.something. So I knew right away that I won. After Dave Silverberg's feature performance (I love the Egg Nog poem even more now) they called on stage to give me the prize... a medium pizza w/ 3 toppings for Toppers Pizza & a book of poetry by Saul Williams called "The Dead Emcee Scrolls". OH.. and Dave gave me a pack of Pop Rocks I'm eating right now!!
Since Guelph tapes all the performances I will be able to share the actual performance with you soon via YouTube. In the meantime you can find me on cloud nine!
Peace!
2009-02-20
How To Win A Poetry Slam
A: Don't care about winning.
Okay, so it's slightly oversimplified. More & more I'm realizing that it's the community that poetry slams such a draw. Last night at the Burlington Slam Project there were only 4 slammers (myself included). So I thought that, despite the fact that both of the pieces were new and going to be read off the page, I might have a slim chance of winning my first slam. The first poem I did was called "Puntuated Hate For The Man". With it I sang in a performance for the first time. I got my first 10 at a slam (mind you it was my wife who gave me the score). The poem I did for the second round is a very new piece called "Why Do I Do What I Do". In this poem I ponder out loud why I try to write & perform poetry. Near the end I get humble by asking not to get a score above 4 before asking for no scores. I close the piece by asking for the audiences heart instead. Because "I Do What I Do" in order to share my heart with them.
In the end my total score was 52.3. I was just .9 points behind the winner, Yogi, who got 53.2 points. Upon reflection I think I should have done one of my more polished pieces (Double Double) and go for a higher score with more performance. But it probably wouldn't have been enough. Yogi had an amazing second round score with a poem about his hands.
All of this, belive it or not, leads me back to my original reason for this post: How To Win A Poetry Slam. Even though I want to win a slam, my original answer does make sense. It's about focus. Slowly but surely my focus is shifting. A little less on winning the slam (& of course the prize money) and a little more on improving my poetry and relationships with other poets.
Okay, so it's slightly oversimplified. More & more I'm realizing that it's the community that poetry slams such a draw. Last night at the Burlington Slam Project there were only 4 slammers (myself included). So I thought that, despite the fact that both of the pieces were new and going to be read off the page, I might have a slim chance of winning my first slam. The first poem I did was called "Puntuated Hate For The Man". With it I sang in a performance for the first time. I got my first 10 at a slam (mind you it was my wife who gave me the score). The poem I did for the second round is a very new piece called "Why Do I Do What I Do". In this poem I ponder out loud why I try to write & perform poetry. Near the end I get humble by asking not to get a score above 4 before asking for no scores. I close the piece by asking for the audiences heart instead. Because "I Do What I Do" in order to share my heart with them.
In the end my total score was 52.3. I was just .9 points behind the winner, Yogi, who got 53.2 points. Upon reflection I think I should have done one of my more polished pieces (Double Double) and go for a higher score with more performance. But it probably wouldn't have been enough. Yogi had an amazing second round score with a poem about his hands.
All of this, belive it or not, leads me back to my original reason for this post: How To Win A Poetry Slam. Even though I want to win a slam, my original answer does make sense. It's about focus. Slowly but surely my focus is shifting. A little less on winning the slam (& of course the prize money) and a little more on improving my poetry and relationships with other poets.
2009-02-18
Slam Nation
So just the other day I finally got my Slam Nation DVD in the mail. I watched it... of course. I thought the filming would have been of a slightly higher calibre.
It was nice to finally see the man behind the name of Marc Smith, the Slam Papi. Despite the fact that he 'said' he was open to slam being an evolving art form he seemed to work hard at remaining at the helm. Although the meetings were democratic in nature it seemed to me like he played his 'founding father' card in order to direct the vote towards his preference.
Don't get it twisted. I don't think I like Taylor Mali's personality. He is WAY too into himself. I DO like his poetry. Moreover, I agree with his strategy. Why can't you switch up who goes when & does what? In a competition it only makes sense to make your best play when the game is on the line.
I think Slam is big enough for both competitors & purists. So why were the purists so seriously confused? It might not be cut throat competition but it IS a competition. Each poem is scored and the highest score wins.
So when Saul Williams, Marc Smith, and others got all in a snit about people being strategic about a competition I found it laughable. Perhaps it's even MORE laughable that he later became the head of PSi (Poetry Slam Inc), the governing body of the National Poetry Slam competition.
I did like Beau Sia (sp?). The guy was intense and funny. I guess my favourite reveals my bias though... the Vancouver team. I've actually had occasion to meet Alexandra Oliver (AKA the home-wrecker).
I guess my question is... why is it that only the slick production of HBO's Def Poetry show does a decent job at capturing great poets perfroming great poems with great video & audio?
It was nice to finally see the man behind the name of Marc Smith, the Slam Papi. Despite the fact that he 'said' he was open to slam being an evolving art form he seemed to work hard at remaining at the helm. Although the meetings were democratic in nature it seemed to me like he played his 'founding father' card in order to direct the vote towards his preference.
Don't get it twisted. I don't think I like Taylor Mali's personality. He is WAY too into himself. I DO like his poetry. Moreover, I agree with his strategy. Why can't you switch up who goes when & does what? In a competition it only makes sense to make your best play when the game is on the line.
I think Slam is big enough for both competitors & purists. So why were the purists so seriously confused? It might not be cut throat competition but it IS a competition. Each poem is scored and the highest score wins.
So when Saul Williams, Marc Smith, and others got all in a snit about people being strategic about a competition I found it laughable. Perhaps it's even MORE laughable that he later became the head of PSi (Poetry Slam Inc), the governing body of the National Poetry Slam competition.
I did like Beau Sia (sp?). The guy was intense and funny. I guess my favourite reveals my bias though... the Vancouver team. I've actually had occasion to meet Alexandra Oliver (AKA the home-wrecker).
I guess my question is... why is it that only the slick production of HBO's Def Poetry show does a decent job at capturing great poets perfroming great poems with great video & audio?
2009-01-30
Why Do I Do What I Do?
Why is it the more I try to change the more things stay the same?
Why do all the poems I try to write sound so trite and lame?
Please tell me why. Cuz I don't have a clue.
Why, oh why, do I do what I do?
-----------------------------
Really? Why do I do what I do? Why do I do everything that I do?
Why is it I can think deeply on a plethora of topics...
Why is it that can love & appreciate the skill and cleverness of dope lyrics...
Why is it I can take your average song & make it better...
But when it comes to writing my own song/rap/poem I struggle to put two lines together?
Why do I always seem to have start off with someone elses idea & flow?
And then I just change the words to "make it" my own. I don't know!
It seems like the only times I write anything worth reading or repeating
Are the rare times the words seem to pour out from within.
It's like a fountain deep within my soul.
I can't even the fathom the fathoms of it's depth.
And then it's GONE !!!
In the blink of an eye...
Quick as a jackrabbit...
...It up and vanishes like a fart in the wind.
I dig deep to again find the source.
But it eludes me like peace in the middle east.
But I keep digging until my body is tired and aches
Exhausted and still finding nothing I collapse.
Was the torrent of a river just a mental mistake?
Was it really real? Or did my grip on reality temporaily lapse?
Why did I have to go so far? Push myself to the brink?
My words stand before me in black & white, paper & ink.
The testify to the truth, that the spring buried deep in my soul,
Won't ever run dry, and the fiery passion can't grow cold.
But it's only when I'm broken that I can be truly made whole.
Liquid lava of love flows out from within to fill the hole.
When the truth DOES come out...
When I share it from a stage...
When I try to get you to measure... my love.
My love for the words
My love for the truth
When you try to measure my love in numbers of course you won't get it.
So don't throw up 10's or 9's the next time pour my soul into a microphone so it doesn't go to my head.
Don't throw up 8's or 7's the next you see my heart beating on the floor because it's not deep enough to hold it.
In fact don't give me any numbers... Instead give me your heart in return.
Why do what I do?
It's not for the numbers,
But so I can share my heart with you.
Why do all the poems I try to write sound so trite and lame?
Please tell me why. Cuz I don't have a clue.
Why, oh why, do I do what I do?
-----------------------------
Really? Why do I do what I do? Why do I do everything that I do?
Why is it I can think deeply on a plethora of topics...
Why is it that can love & appreciate the skill and cleverness of dope lyrics...
Why is it I can take your average song & make it better...
But when it comes to writing my own song/rap/poem I struggle to put two lines together?
Why do I always seem to have start off with someone elses idea & flow?
And then I just change the words to "make it" my own. I don't know!
It seems like the only times I write anything worth reading or repeating
Are the rare times the words seem to pour out from within.
It's like a fountain deep within my soul.
I can't even the fathom the fathoms of it's depth.
And then it's GONE !!!
In the blink of an eye...
Quick as a jackrabbit...
...It up and vanishes like a fart in the wind.
I dig deep to again find the source.
But it eludes me like peace in the middle east.
But I keep digging until my body is tired and aches
Exhausted and still finding nothing I collapse.
Was the torrent of a river just a mental mistake?
Was it really real? Or did my grip on reality temporaily lapse?
Why did I have to go so far? Push myself to the brink?
My words stand before me in black & white, paper & ink.
The testify to the truth, that the spring buried deep in my soul,
Won't ever run dry, and the fiery passion can't grow cold.
But it's only when I'm broken that I can be truly made whole.
Liquid lava of love flows out from within to fill the hole.
When the truth DOES come out...
When I share it from a stage...
When I try to get you to measure... my love.
My love for the words
My love for the truth
When you try to measure my love in numbers of course you won't get it.
So don't throw up 10's or 9's the next time pour my soul into a microphone so it doesn't go to my head.
Don't throw up 8's or 7's the next you see my heart beating on the floor because it's not deep enough to hold it.
In fact don't give me any numbers... Instead give me your heart in return.
Why do what I do?
It's not for the numbers,
But so I can share my heart with you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)