No... this isn't another post in my fabled "I Believe" series.  I say fabled because they must seem like a fable or myth since I've only written 2 so far.  But this is just a poem I wrote in response to a piece I read by a person who thought the truth had to be black & white and they didn't understand how that can work in a world greys.

Deception is in perception,
Because it's all how you see it.

To see truth we must REMOVE the filters
And change our focus to reveal it.

The lie is that we live in a digital world
The truth is we are an analog of possibilities

It isn't right to use black & white
To determine wrong & right.

The truth remains true to itself
Rich, vibrant, & bright.

So be careful.

In this technicolor world don't be
Blinded by the light.


I Believe... in Truth

John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I understand that some people find Jesus/Christianity to be exclusive by claiming to be the only way to heaven. But each religion believes that it is right and by default makes nonbelievers wrong.  For this reason, I think that saying 'all paths lead to God' is being intellectually dishonest/ignorant.  That being said, at the opposite end of the spectrum we have people going around saying "Believe or die", which is just plain wrong.

The argument most people make is that it's a matter of perspective.  That heaven/salvation/paradise is at the top of a hill and each religion is approaching the hill from a different angle.  But when you compare the primary tenants of most religions you will see that we are really talking about different hills.

The problem is that truth has been hijacked.  It's been hijacked by this concept of ME.  It's definition has been twisted and perverted so that one can make ANYTHING true.  The idea is that what I believe about God is true and what a Muslim believes about God is true and what a Jew believes about God is true... and so on and so on for all religions.  But how can they all be true if they don't agree?

The answer is that we make truth relative.  If truth is simply based upon your own perspective then we can all be right!  We can all be true.  But that's a LIE!  Sure, truth looks different based upon your persepctive.  But that doesn't mean truth IS different depending on your perspective.  It means your perspective makes truth APPEAR to be different.

Have you ever gone back to a house or school from your childhood?  Everything seems so much smaller than you remember it.  The house or school didn't shrink from old age.  You grew so your perspective changed.

Truth is true absolutely.  We try to define and mould it with our own biased persepctives.  If we want to try to have a clearer view of what is true then we need to do a couple things.  The first thing we need to do is recognize our biases and let go of them.  Like getting a new pair of glasses, we need to change the way we see the world as a whole.

Next we need to compare.  We each have two eyes.  Our brain takes the image from both eyes and blends them together to get a more focused view.  When evaluating the truth we need to get as many different points of view about a single issue and compare them for similarities.  That's why in court we take into account the testimony of 2 or 3 witnesses before accepting something as fact.

So truth is real and can be known, but it may not always be discernable.  Because if God created all things (including time), then God exists outside of time.  So how could my limited human brain living a linear life possibly fathom some of the truths known by God, who isn't limited by time or mind?



I got a new monitor (& keyboard) for our NEW (refurbished) HP Tower.  It's been out of commission for a while.  And it always seemed like more important / expensive things came first.

You know, things like weddings, wedding presents, car repairs, buying a new car, and a summer vacation.  Since I had some free time after work today I grabbed a monitor (& keyboard) hooked it up and booted up the HP.

It's working GREAT!  Much faster than this piece of junk IBM ThinkPad I'm typing on right now.  The ONLY reason I'm still using it as I type is because of the oodles & oodles of updates the HP is currently enduring.

OH!  Looks like a few just finished up.  Time to reboot and then update the iPods.  w00t w00t


I Believe ... in God

I believe in God.

But I was once an atheist.  Well, technically, I was an agnostic with atheistic tendencies.  What I mean by agnostic, is that I believed there was no way to know for sure whether or not a god, goddess, gods, or goddesses exist.  So I figured, if there is no way to know for certain, that the odds were slightly in my favour for not believing.

As my life went on that paradigm was consistently challenged by the reality I was facing.  The first crack in the foundation was the lack of purpose, and not just my own.  If there was no God then there was no purpose to my life, your life, or anything.  As I followed the logical implications of atheism, to things like purpose and morality, life became very depressing.  If life lacks purpose then why bother continuing to exist  Needless to say, I sunk into a heavy depression about this time.

However, I refused believe that the universe was some giant cosmic mistake.  It didn't feel right and it didn't match with what I saw in the world.  I saw purpose and design behind everything I saw.  First with technology like computers, cars, and bridges.  Then I saw it with society in things like families.  Finally I saw it with nature in things like seasons, the food chain, and the movement of planets and stars.  Sure there is disorder, chaos, death, and suffering in the world.  But beneath the surface there is large scale order and design.

So I realized, if the world was created with a purpose and design, then perhaps so do I.  And if I was created with a purpose and design, then I have a creator: God.

Word of the day...


Christian - A word that describes a person who believes in the deity and ascribes to the teachings of the CHRIST (of Latin Christus or Greek Christos origin.  Originally translated from Hebrew Messiah or Mashia meaning 'annointed').

PHOBE - A suffix from of the word PHOBIA of Greek origin.  Meaning a person who suffers a specific persistent, abnormal, and/or irrational fear of the preceding word.

So a Christianophobe is a person with an irrational fear or aversion to Christians.

National Poetry Month

For the uninformed, April is National Poetry Month. The idea being that

First up we have the old stoggy crew,
Focused on dictating to me & you.

But even before keyboards, pens, quills, and chisels we had a voice.

Would the real poets please stand up?

Now we have those who use the spoken word,
To espouse on things they've lived & heard.

But before rants, activisim, politics, and religion we had words.

Would the real poets please stand up?

It doesn't matter if you write on pages or rock stages,
Self-expression is beyond genres and outlasts the ages.

Now they call it freedom of speech, but watch what you say.

Would the real poets please stand up?

Please! Stand up and fight haters and their foul nonsense,
Like my man Made Wade who's stomping out ignorance.

But just because you have an opposing view
Doesn't mean I need to or ever hated on you.

Enough of this junk about who is or isn't legit.
Let's just battle, shake hands, and get over it.


I Believe

I'm thinking of starting a new series called "I Believe".  In my last post on Atheism I got ALOT of response.  But there was some confusion over terms and definitions.  I think this is due to the fact that my beliefs don't fit into the mold most people think of a Christian.  So, I figured it would be a good idea to explain myself.  To explain what I believe and why.  For that reason I will NOT be allowing comments on these posts.

This isn't an attempt to bury my head in the sand while blasting my views from the soapbox.  I love honest discussion.  But in an honest and fruitful discussion you need to understand where the other person is coming from.  And that what this series is about.  Letting you know where I'm coming from.  Agree, disagree, whatever.  I just don't want this to become some sort of horrendous debate.

That being said, I may say some things that come across mean-hearted or antagonistic.  Please don't take it that way.  I'm just saying what's on my heart and mind.  I'm not trying to attack you personally or the views you hold to be true.  I'm simply going to be explaining why I don't hold them to be true.


Atheism is a religion

The other day a friend on Facebook posted an article from the Ottawa Citizen titled "Atheists have a place in discussions on faith". The article basically says that atheists are unfairly being excluded from discussions of faith despite the fact that they would have unique perspectives on the issues at hand.

The author contradicts himself. In one paragraph he encourages "a messy process that may at times appear to engender disrespect" and then in the next paragraph says that "The idea that atheists are arrogant or shrill needs to be put into some perspective", implying that atheists are unfairly portrayed as screaming idiots. Which is it? Do you want be invited to a panel only to say everyone else on the panel is wrong? Or do you want to engage in discussion with other faiths by offering your own unique perspective?

Personally I would welcome an honest and professional discussion on faith by inviting atheists along because, whether atheists like it or not, Atheism is a religion. But what is religion? Simply put, religion is a set of beliefs (world-view) origin, nature, and purpose of the universe. Isn't that what Atheism is? It's a belief that the universe began with a big bang from which all things evolved, the universe changes over time through undirected processes like natural selection and survival of the fittest, and since the universe is just a gigantic accident then there is no purpose.

As such, atheism should be subject to the same rules as other religions. If they want to teach their religious views then they are free to do it in a school not subsidized by tax dollars. Teachers in public schools will be forbidden to teach atheistic material in the science, math, or other classrooms other than a religion class. They can form atheist organizations and get tax deductions for making donations just like any other church organization.

Perhaps then, they will think twice before claiming that Intelligent Design isn't real science just because the objective, observable, and repeatable experiments have metaphysical implications. At least I hope it would. Because let's face it, a belief in a lack of a metaphysical existence still has metaphysical implications.


The Ultimate Gadget Holster

So anyone who knows me knows I'm a bit of a geek.  Ok ok, a BIG geek.  Like any good geek I like gadgets.

But you can only carry around so much stuff in your pockets.  Even your average guy has a wallet, a cellphone, a set of keys, and prolly some change.  If you have a wife or girlfriend there is a whole extra set.  I know, women are supposed to carry purses.  But it's a lie.  They buy them, put stuff in them, but make their boyfriends & husbands carry them.

So I've been trying to convince my wife for some time now that I need something to carry all this stuff.  Not a purse but a man bag.  But no matter where I go I can't find anything that would work.  It's either a purse or a cheesy looking hip pouch or a mini backpack that doesn't fit over my shoulder.  But finally I've found something that will not only work but looks kinda cool too!

 It's called a tek holster.  A leather holster that fits over your shoulder like a 80's TV cop but pouches that attach to it that fit cameras, phones, or iPods instead.

You buy the holster itself and then you get the attachments

It's perfect for every occupation

Check it out for yourself at www.tekholster.com.  There are fancier more urban ones out there or knockoffs on geek sites.  But I like these the best.  Girls will even like'em cuz they can get them in pink.


Am I A Racist?

To answer the question plainly:  I'd like to hope not.  I certainly try not to be.  I'm far from perfect and I'm positively certain I've said and done things that are racist.  But the important part is that I make efforts to avoid doing the same in the future.

I find that most racism is rooted in ignorance.  The more you know about a person or group of persons the less likely you are to make ill informed generalizations about them.  Or worse, believe and act on them.  Personally, I like learning about different cultures and religions.  It's helps me to understand people better and the motives behind their actions and words. 

I think we've all fallen short of being understanding and sensitive to each others cultures, religions, and skin colours.  I've even experienced reverse racism, where people who have had to endure racism turn around and do the exact same thing to me.  In the spoken word scene I've seen ALOT of this reverse hatred.  Women who've been abused by a man hating on ALL men.  Visual minorities who are marginalized by society that gives preferential treatment to white males then hating on ALL white males.  And then people who have been unjustly treated by a person in some form of authority now hating on ALL authority figures. 

"The Man" is a term used to describe all those groups.  Now, AS a white male, I don't ,can't, and have no way to fully understand depth to which being helplessly raped by a man I trust, being deemed a secondary citizen just because of my sex, religion, or skin colour, or being traded, hated, & killed because of the colour of my skin would affect someone.  But just because I fit the "general description" of the person(s) who violated you doesn't give you the right to violate or hate on me.  I did what any other slammer would do, I wrote a spoken word piece about it called Punctuated Hate For The Man.

But even still some people get it twisted.  Calling people racist when they don't seem to even know what the word means.  Just making sweeping generalizations because the person fits the general description of "the man".  Calling someone racist for speaking out AGAINST ignorance.  Saying someone is trying to control them by simply voicing their opinion.  Calling somone ignorant of slavery while acting as if it has only ever happened to black people.  Saying they are being oppressed, assaulted, and violated just because it happens to be a white person who disagrees with them.  Who is REALLY the racist?

If voicing your disagreement with someones views in a private respectful way and then being motivated by those views to take a stand against ignorance makes me a racist, then please PLEASE call me one too and I will wear the title proudly.


Flag Etiquette

"World Cup Flags" Haiku

Car window flags plus
Ignorant soccer fans
Poor flag ettiquette
I'll admit I'm not much of a soccer (football) fan. It involves lots of running (which I'm OBVIOUSLY not into) and is largely a scoreless game. In fact, I'm not much into sports on a whole. I do enjoy watching football (live or televised, NFL or CFL) and hockey (as long as I'm actually THERE), but I don't schedule my life around it nor do I make it a priority.

But I do understand the passion many fans have for their teams. Sometimes to an extreme, like football fans in December painting letters on their torso while attending an outdoor game. So when it comes a competition like World Cup soccer the emotions are even higher. Not only are they excited about their team, but now their national pride is on the line too.

Let's face it, the World Cup is truly a global event, with so many countries competing and watching. It's understandable that World Cup is a big deal to many Canadians since we are a very multicultural society. People are changing their lives so they can watch their favourite games. The city has changed the liqour laws to accommodate fans. I've seen many people take time off work, come in early, & stay late so they can watch a game. My wife, who works in child care, sees entire families wearing the jersey of their favourite team and/or country of origin/heritage. Look around any parking lot these days and you would think we are being invaded by foreign dignitaries. What with all the flags on peoples cars.

But here is my problem, there is a proper etiquette when it comes to flying flags in Canada. In fact, many countries make flag etiquette a law. The basic rules are that if you want to fly the flag of another country you must also fly the flag of the country you are in and fly it in a position of honour (highest or on the left).

It's a simple thing to do & most Canadians are proud to fly their flag. I know this because every Canada Day I see the Canadian car flags all over the place. So what does it take to pull it out a little early? Or buy one from the guy selling them out of the back of his van at the side of the road or in the parking lot? Especially when we've already spent so much on jerseys, parties, drinks, and even time off from work.

Now this is just etiquette. There is no flag law in Canada. Even in the U.S., where flag etiquette IS the law, there is no penalty for failure to comply with it. Demanding or forcing people to abide by it would be both silly and unconstitutional (violating the right to free speech). But it really just boils down to a matter of respect that requires a bare minimum of effort and cost.

So family, friends, & soccer fans,
If you're flying the flag of another country please also fly the Canadian flag.
Because, let's face it, being polite is the Canadian thing to do!


Anything Goes, Came, & Went

So this past Saturday I went to the Toronto Poetry Slam (TPS) for a change. It's not often I can make it down because it goes late into the night, then I still have to drive home afterward, and then try to wake up for church the next day.

But I like making it out for the Anything Goes Slam. It gives me a chance to do some covers which I have memorized a little bit better than my own stuff. That and you never know what to expect. In years past there has full frontal male nudity, chicken suits, and a slam within a slam. Not to mention some AWESOME covers!

The day of, I wasn't sure we'd actually go. My wife felt a cold coming on Friday night and by Saturday it was full fledged. But being a truly loving wife, who knew how long I've wanting to go to TPS, she went anyway.

We met up with my brother-in-law before hand. He lives a stones throw from Kipling station. So we met up, went out for dinner, then took the subway downtown. He's a maintenance engineer for a large building downtown. So he took us in for a tour. I would be LOST amongst the hundreds of pipes, valves, & gauges. The really cool part was when he took us up to the rooftop. AWESOME view!

We were @ the Drake supremely early. But we bumped into people as they were heading in to set up. So it gave me a chance to introduce my wife & her brother to Jillian Christmas & Dave Silverberg. We didn't realize there was a lineup going on inside until we went inside 10 minutes before the doors were supposed to open. So we barely got chairs to sit on (evil, EVIL, fold-up wooden chairs). I'd love to just bring my own camping chair sometime! LOL

So I signed up early and I was a little bummed and slightly relieved at the same time. I was bummed because I had hoped to see more familiar poets. However, I was slightly relieved because I thought this would mean easier to get to the 2nd round. Boy was I fooled.

I think I was 3rd or 4th last. Silverberg, Crouton and maybe someone else went after me. I had been planning to do a couple Old School Hip Hop covers the 1st 2 rounds. And if a miracle happened and I made it to the 3rd round I was going to drop my Peace piece. But as it turns out the judges hip hopped out by the time I took the stage. There was this animated rapper from the M dot who did alright and then there was Tripp's trippy... I don't know what it was. But it seemed like it was supposed to be hip hop. My downfall was I don't have breath control. And you need it to pull of Young MC. I prolly should have led with my 2nd round option, Krs-One's By All Means Neccesary. Oh well.

The feature was very talented. But it felt... a lil awkward. Almost like her style isn't an exact fit for a slam. Especially the Anything Goes Slam. She was accompanied by a flautist (someone super dope on the flute). My problem was I kept hoping he'd start doing beat-boxing at the same time like that guy on Youtube, even during his 5 min solo of Lollipop.

Sadly, I didn't make it to the 2nd round. So since I really only wanted to hear 2 of 6 who made it and my wife wasn't feeling well I left during the intermission.

I'm always asking myself what my goal is in doing poetry slams. Am I trying to win for the money or the fame? Do I want to get a feature slot someday? Do I want to get published? Even self-published? Is it just anexcuse to get out of the house once or twice a month? Is it because I get to rub shoulders with other creative people? Or is it because I just like writing and sharing what I write with others?

God only REALLY knows.

But this Thursday I have the Burlington Poetry Slam at the Black Bull Pub (Guelph Line jus North of the 403/QEW) at 8pm. Extra special because it is my last and final chance to qualify for the Burlington Slam Team going to Ottawa for nationals in October (again... is this something I want and can dedicate to?).

Then, the following Friday night a friend from church hosts a coffee house @ her house (parents house really) and I'm going to introduce the normally musical open mic to some sopken word. We'll see how it goes. because if I really want to keep doing this spoken word thing... it's going to need to be more local if I want to see it bloom while being a good family man at the same time.



This poem is dedicated to a friend who has recently had their heart broken.

Hearts are chunks of perfect beauty we all carry within us. These little sparks are proof positive of a blissful joy beyond understanding. So powerful it trancends our earthly senses and points to a metaphyscial reality that rings true in our souls. Though unseen, we do catch glimpeses of it's effects in our lives.

Like a new born baby, young hearts have a pure glow to them you can actually smell. They exude syrupyness without leaving that sickly sweet sting on your tongue. A naive innocence so absolute we pass laws to make destroying such a wonderous thing the most heinous crime.

But hearts are made to be broken. Like any good thing they must come to an end. Fixing a broken heart is a dirty job to be sure. It can seem impossibly daunting when you see the countless twisted shards strewn across the floor like shrapnel. Your hands are sure to get bloody with the sharp edges of raw emotions cutting into your fingers. You'll suffer setbacks of missing pieces. Even when you finally finish the puzzle and the pieces back together you'll see veins running through a once clear and seamless surface like cancerous fingers gripping your heart and refusing to let go.

Here is the part where so many of us go wrong. In the name of safety and a misled effort to avoid the same tragedy again we lock our heart away in a dungeon. Caged up like a criminal, as if to say it was at fault. Too open, too accepting, too trusting. Instead what we should do is cast open the doors and let the light shine through us.

Sure it won't shine the same. But that simple shimmer is replaced by a full spectrum of hues and brightness. Those white veins turn into twisiting pillars of light. Tiny inflections in them make the light dance in new and wonderous ways.

Hearts are made to be broken.


Oh No Canada!

In the throne speech of March 3rd, 2010 the government said "Our Government will also ask Parliament to examine the original gender-neutral English wording of the national anthem."

I'm sorry. What? Yes folks, apparently our National Anthem is sexist by using the phrase "in all thy sons command." Is this really a priority? Even for extremist femenists, they must have more pressing issues at hand? Like maybe, equal pay for women doing the same job as a man? No, we need to bastardize our National Anthem first!

To me, it's an Old English word similar to the other ones used in the song that can in essence mean "sons & daughters". Or perhaps, it's because the song was written at the turn of the previous century when it was our sons we commanded into battle. But the government claims that the original version was gender neutral ("thou dost in us command").

To me it looks like the government didn't read their own website. O Canada was originally written and composed in French, and subsequently translated into English, with entirely different lyrics aside from the title. Numerous variations of translations followed. Our current national anthem is based upon a poem by the Honourable Robert Stanley Weir. The poem had 4 main stanzas (or verses) and a refrain. It's the 1st main stanza upon which our national anthem was built
O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love thou dost in us command.
We see thee rising fair, dear land,
The True North, strong and free;
And stand on guard, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.

But if we are going to revisit the lyrics we should look at ALL of them. The first thing we'll have to get rid of is the line about "native land" seeing as we stole most of it from them. Next would be the line about God. Because if our children can't talk to God in schools (public prayer) then we shouldn't talk about God. And calling ourselves the "True North" might offend other Northern nations like Russia & the Netherlands. And speaking of freedom would be unfair and innacurate when refering to prisoners. Finally, we need to modernize the language. Lose the 'thee''s and 'thou''s for something like "Yo Canada."

We'll be left with nothing but glowing hearts guarding nothing but our political correctness, and perhaps hockey. Whichs make me wonder, aside from hockey games, when do most Canadians attempt to even hum along (since we long ago forgot the words when they made it 1/2 in french or we finished high school)? At this point I think most Canadians are more familiar with the Hockey Night In Canada theme song. Of course, they screwed with that too.

Which is just more proof that if it ain't broke don't fix it.


Oh when the Saints...

So last night I watched the Superbowl. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a sports guy. I'd LOVE to spend my Sundays lounging around watching football. It's just not that important to me. I do on occassion like to watch a hockey game (OHL) or football game (CFL) if I'm there in person.

The one major exception to this rule is of course the Superbowl. Mainly because it's usually the PERFECT excuse for a guys night out. I've been to some odd parties before. LOL like the time I had been talking to this girl from Hamilton over the internet. She invited me to the Superbowl party put on by her church. I dragged my buddy Mark with me and won a football with a built in pump (which I still have BTW).

Now my buddy Mark is the sports nut or 'Commish' as he likes to be called by his fanatsy football cohorts. So I can usually count on him planning some sort of Superbowl party. Well this new year has been crazy busy so we never wound up connecting in time to figure out what the plan was. So this Sunday my wife made chilli in the slow cooker and I was blessed with an afternoon of pre-game analysis and the game itself.

I was excited because this year I had an actual favourite. I had been rooting for the Saints since the beginning of the season. After all they had suffered from as a result of hurricane Katrina both the city and the team had to rebuild from the ground up. It seemed like, for the team at least, this was their chance to rise up.

Everytime people asked who I was pulling for through the season I'd say "I'm a Titans fan (don't ask why.. I just am) but I'd really like to see the Saints go all the way. Most often I got chuckles. Then something along the lines of "they are a good team. there are just so many BETTER teams. they'll never make it.

So when I heard that they finally made it to the big show I was excited, momentarily. I saw momentarily because i then heard they were up against Peyton Manning & the Colts. A formidable team to say the least.

In the end, I like how Coach from NBC worded it "My head says the Colts, but my heart says the Saints" That's what it came down to... a game of heart. the Colts were strong. But they played a typical football game straegy figuring tried & true would get them through. But the Saints had heart. They didn't have anything to lose. They have already made it this far. So they played a riskier game. Sure it cost them a few penalties (whether from nerves or being risky I'm not sure) but it also landed them a few big plays.

Like when they went for 4th & goal. If they made it GREAT... if they didn't (& they didn't) then the Colts have really bad field position on turn over. Or the interception for a touchdown. Or going for the 2 point conversion. New Orleans made big plays and made them count.

So call me a bandwagoner or call me a sports noob... but just be sure to remember I was right:




I've had other blogs in the past that I used for venting and posting updates on my life. I never really updated them on a regular basis (not that I post here very often). Now with Facebook I find that blog posts, emails, and the such are falling by the wayside.

So here is where I'm at...

I know I have some good solid pieces so far. I just need to memorize them so I can start 'performing' them. My problem is that I suck at setting time aside to practice. I don't want to practice where anyone can actually hear or see me. And when I do I feel like a total knob. So until I get in some SERIOUS practice I don't see myself placing much better at poetry slams.

I REALLY want to put out a chapbook. I don't really care if I'm 'ready for it' as a writer. I think it will (at the very least) give me credibility in my own mind as a writer. As of right now I'm looking for an artist / graphic artist. I had someone lined up who wanted to do it for free! But they never got back to me.

Writers block. It's weird because I have lots of things I have ideas about or opinions on but when I try to write the thoughts just can't come together. I think I might just have to start writing random posts on here about whatever is going on in my mind because writing is writing.

So I will definitely....most likely....probably....maybe....possibly be posting here more often. Maybe I'll start tomorrow?



Okay geeks, I need your help.

Here is the deal:
My mom wants me to have remote access to her computer so I don't have to drive 2 hours every time she has a problem. I thought while I was at it I'd set it up on my sisters computer (same router) too.

I set it up using RealVNC for remote connections and dnydns.com to broadcast the IP address of the router.

The problem is I can make it work with 1 computer (1 server & 1 dns account) but with 2 computers acting as VNC servers listening on different ports, broadcasting IP on 2 different DNS accounts it won't work for either of them.

Is there any way I can get both computers to accept VNC remote connections?

P.S. All machines are running XP